Nosy Neighbor: 0:12

My guest this episode is a beautiful swinger from Kentucky named Renee. Gotten to talk to her a little bit and hear her story and I'm excited to have her on. Renee, thanks for joining us today.

Renee: 0:22

Well, thank you for inviting me.

Nosy Neighbor: 0:24

So you're married. How long have you been married for?

Renee: 0:27

We just celebrated three years.

Nosy Neighbor: 0:29

Were you swinging before then? Or did you meet in the lifestyle?

Renee: 0:33

No. Actually, he introduced me into the lifestyle. He was in the lifestyle previous uh with his uh somebody else than he was as a single man and now with me.

Nosy Neighbor: 0:49

And so you grew up, had you had any experience in swinging? Had you thought about it swinging? What what was that like that conversation of honey? Let's talk about something here.

Renee: 0:59

So growing up, no, my husband now is my third husband. First husband, not really, second husband, no. After my second husband, I met a guy, and he introduced me that hey, sex can be good. You know, I was like 42 years old. He said, you know what, sex could be good, and he showed me how sex could be good. And then my husband and I, and he showed me other things, and I kind of like that stuff. And my husband and I got together and I sat him down. I said, Hey, we need to talk. This is what I like. Um I like the bondage, I like you know, putting a mask on, I like being tied up, I like the kind of the bondage, as you know, I don't like the spanking, but I like almost pretty much everything else. I don't like the choking, but I do like being tied up. So I said that, and he said, Well, this is what I like. And I'm like, Oh, that sounds cool. I'm like, can I have I have can have sex with other guys and you're okay with it? You start thinking about it, and you're like, hey, okay, that sounds like a great idea.

Nosy Neighbor: 2:17

Now, not to get too personal, but you're you're divorced twice. Were any of those divorces because of like marital um infidelity that like they cheated and you broke now?

Renee: 2:31

Actually, the second one is because I didn't have sex for seven years.

Nosy Neighbor: 2:35

Okay. So as far as sex, then you had a couple different partners with a couple different husbands, but how was the mentality of it for you? Because even though you've been married a couple of times, there's still that mentality that you've been programmed for so many years that cheating or sleeping with other people, not is you know, is different. How was that mindset for you, or was it pretty easy to get over that?

Renee: 3:03

It was pretty actually easy to kind of get over that. I was single for few years. I had multiple boyfriends, I dated a couple boyfriends at the same time, so it's not, you know, um like I left my first husband for a whole year because of a guy. So it's not like you know, I had to really reprogram my my brain. Um, I did have to reprogram my brain that it's okay to kiss somebody in front of my husband, because that kind of weirded me out. You know, because that's usually the most intimate thing. And we sat down, Chris and I sat down and we said, okay, these are our rules, and we wrote down our rules, our swinger rules.

Nosy Neighbor: 3:53

And what were some of those?

Renee: 3:54

Kissing was okay if it was up to me. If I was okay with it, if he was okay with it. Um, we only play together, as in we are the same room, whether it is another male, another female, another couple. We are the same room, we do not do anything when the other person is outside of the room. That is a safety issue on top of everything else. If we want to call call it quits, we call it quits. Boom, no questions asked, done. Um, if we are not comfortable in a situation, it's done. No questions asked, no arguing. So but most of I mean there are certain things like I won't do DP, I won't do anal. That's just you know, that stuff is just for us. We don't do the bondage in the lifestyle, we don't do the bondage of swingers. Um, that is just for us.

Nosy Neighbor: 4:56

So you've maintained some of the things that you enjoy, set those aside to keep those to be things that you enjoy, even though you'd probably enjoy them in the swinging lifestyle, but those are some of the things that you just reserve to be for you only, and kind of keep the marriage in a spot where it's something special for you guys, and this is now something else.

Renee: 5:21

Well, people think that when you're a swinger, there's something wrong in your marriage, and you're looking for something else. That's not us. What swinging does for us is it enhances our relationship. We love each other, we want to be with each other, we don't want to be with anybody else, we love each other. Do we like to play with others? Absolutely. Do we like to watch each other? That is a big thing. We love watching each other with others. It's exciting.

Nosy Neighbor: 5:51

And I I've found just in talking to people in my own experiences, that swinging is a lot like dating. It gives you a chance to see other things, see how couples because when you're in a relationship, say for five, ten, even two years, you get set in a routine, and it's kind of nice to see someone else's routine, how they do things, how and this goes into the sexuality of you know what kind of things are they into, and so I think there's an opportunity to to learn not only about your own sexuality, but maybe the other couple do things that you just never thought of before, and it's a way to introduce that into your own marriage.

Renee: 6:33

Oh yeah. I mean, you find out what somebody else likes, and and you're like, hey, let's try that. And it's like that seems cool, let's try that. So it does. I mean, it gives you ideas to kind of spice it up even at home.

Nosy Neighbor: 6:48

So you decide you have the sit-down, you have the talk, you decide this is something that we want to explore, you set up some rules, and so it sounds like you guys really had a great set of communication, which is I think the important thing for someone that's entering swinging is to have that foundation of dialogue there versus just saying, let's give it a shot and see what happens. What was that first step then like to actually find someone?

Renee: 7:13

So he is part of he's a lifetime, he's always been a lifetime member of the website. And so he just he showed it to me, and we're like, okay, let's put our pictures on, and he loves to he loves my pictures. I send him pictures all the time. We have what 400 plus pictures on that website. He I take pictures for him, I send him to work, and he shares. So we we set up the website. We were up in Minnesota at that time. That's where we where we started, it was in Minnesota. And we somebody reached out, it was a single man because at that time I didn't know if I could share him with another woman. I didn't have a problem with him sharing me with another guy, but I didn't, you know. And so we we were supposed to meet the single guy. So we set up a date where they call a meet and greet, and we got stood up. Our first one, we got stood up. So that same night, we went to the bar. I mean, get all dressed up. I'm nervous because it's my very first one. Nervous, we get there, we get to the bar, we're sitting there, and we wait for I don't know, about an hour and a half-ish. Doesn't show up, and you know, Chris looks at me, he's like, Well, we got stood up, but and I'm like, What do you mean, but he's like, Well, we got invited, we got invited to a bar takeover. Oh, because in Minnesota they have bar takeovers, hotel takeovers, different states. Some states are more liberal to uh to the swingers' lifestyle than other states. And Minnesota they have hotel takeovers, and they had a bar takeover right after COVID, so everybody was excited to get out. So we decided to go there, and it was eye-opening. I mean, very eye-opening. It was a a very small bar, and it was filled to the gill with people, and women kissing each other, and you know, women smacking that guy's butts, and the men are just talking with everybody and laughing, and it was no judgment. Everybody was so happy, everybody was so open, nobody was in a corner being that little wallflower. Everybody, you know, you felt included, and that's what I like about being a swinger, and that's what I like about the lifestyle.

Nosy Neighbor: 9:55

Yeah, and the gentleman showed up for that date versus going to the the bar. Do you think your reaction might have been different because the the soloness of it, uh, you said your own nerves and stuff like that. I just wonder how your enjoyment would have been for that versus going to this bar thing where you tangibly felt the inclusiveness in that.

Renee: 10:24

So I think I probably would have chickened out more knowing me. I would have said, okay, no, this is this is okay. I would have been more I think I would probably have been more critical because once you once you're in that group setting and you start feeling you actually feel a happy vibe, you feel the homey vibe, you feel like everybody's included, um, you feel more relaxed. You know, we actually picked up a gentleman, a single man that night, and we actually had a Theresa, we had an MFM, and it was great. It was my very first one, and it was wonderful.

Nosy Neighbor: 11:09

And so when you're doing this, you I mean you ended up getting what you wanted. What was that like the first time then you know you said you guys are nervousness about kissing? It was wonderful. Tell us a little bit more about that process of taking them back to the hotel or the home or whatnot. What was going through your mind then?

Renee: 11:30

So the funny part is we decided because you know, we had a child at home, we decided to rent a hotel room, and it happened to be the same hotel that everybody else rented. But we invited him back to the hotel, and and we decided, and he was sat there and he talked with us for hours to get me comfortable, and then he came up to me and he started touching me and he started kissing me. And you know, you get that nervous at first. Oh my gosh, what is my husband gonna think? What is my husband gonna think? I looked at my husband and he's smiling, he is smiling from ear to ear, and I'm like, oh okay, this is okay. This is okay. Okay, calm down. It took me roughly well, probably 20 minutes to kind of relax enough to enjoy the sex. He was he was a a a bigger gentleman, which I normally that's who I usually actually am attracted to. And he was he just flipped me over. And it was like the best. I mean, it was the best. And I orgasmed him probably four or five times. It was great.

Nosy Neighbor: 12:47

The other single guy that didn't show up missing out, and yeah, that's his loss. I have found that swinging re not rejection, but uh disappointment in not showing up is a huge thing. I think a lot of people I mean, even you talked about your own fears and and misgivings and and concerns, and I think we've been programmed for so many years that this is not how you do things. I think a lot of couples have the idea or like the the fantasy of it, but then when it comes to going and actually doing it, it's a whole different thing. I've found that men especially are the difficult ones. I think, and correct me if I'm wrong in my my thinking of this, I think women are tend to be a little bit more submissive and therefore kind of go along with what the husband suggests, like, let's try this, and she's like, Well, I want to make him happy, so I'm willing to try this. Where the men I found the ones that get spooked are the ones that the fantasy sounds good until I start, you know, until a guy starts commenting, your wife has beautiful breasts, and then all of a sudden it clicks like, wow, this is real. I'm not used to a guy talking about my wife's breasts or commenting on her nipples or what he wants to do to her, and then they get spooked. And so I think the guy usually is more of the hang up just because it sounds like a good fantasy until you're on your way to the bar and you're like, What the heck am I doing?

Renee: 14:27

Is that or they or they see you. So our issue is when they s see us and we actually look like our pictures. I mean, I don't, you know, I'm not shaving off, you know, 10 pounds here and I'm not putting on pictures on there that's 20 years old. You know, all my pictures are within the last four years. And when they finally see us and they talk with us and that we're actually real people, it spooks. It really does. It spooks the woman because they their their self-confidence kicks in. You know, um so we try to prison are really good with the meet and greets. It is normal. Normally we get a lot of new people, a lot of new couples, a lot of new men that have never been in the you know, have never done it. And we talk with them and we tell them, hey, if you have any questions, let us know. We're gonna answer them honestly, completely. And we understand. We've gone through it, we've we've gone through the jealousy, we've gone through the the mistrusts, we've been all through that. We've gone through, oh my gosh, that other woman is prettier, my husband might like her better. Gone through that. Same with the guy, oh my guy is better looking. We've gone through all that. So we sit down with these newer couples, and we're like, hey, ask us anything you want, we'll tell you.

Nosy Neighbor: 16:05

And there there is a lot of that where there you don't know how you're gonna react to something until you're in it. Uh the the fantasy sounds great. Oh, two men watching my wife with another man or being with another woman that's not my wife. Uh, but there's this internal programming that I've mentioned before that you know, we're programmed that this is not normal or not how you do things, and yet it's becoming more and more common.

Renee: 16:32

What advice it is normal. It is. I mean, you have permission, you know, not really permission. I don't like calling it permission. You have your other your spouse saying, you know what? It's okay. It's okay to find this person attractive because guess what? I like I find them attractive too. Or it's okay to have sex with this person. Now everybody has their own dynamic too. Like um, we have some couples who only play separately. We have, you know, but we don't play with them because we have our own rules, but we respect everybody else's rules, also. I mean, there are some people in the lifestyle that they only play with themselves, but they like to be watched. We've had that. We've had a couple invite us out for their anniversary and they just wanted us to watch them, and that was wonderful. So there's all different kinds of aspects of swinging, and that it's not just be you know, swapping wives or husbands, or you know, doing threesomes, foursums, or g it's not it's not all that. There's just so much involved.

Nosy Neighbor: 17:45

Do you see now that you have some experience under your belt, do you see yourself as a couple almost becoming therapists to new couples to kind of walk them through the process and kind of like do you meet with anyone that you sit down with them at a bar, you talk to them for a few hours, and are like, you know what, you two, this just isn't for you. You look you like the fantasy idea, but this is gonna lead to jealousy, this is gonna lead to other things that just not worth your marriage to do that.

Renee: 18:17

So I don't think of us as more uh therapists more than mentors, you know. Uh we haven't had a couple that we've met because we so we talk with potential, what we call potential playmates or potential friends, because we first start out as friends, we want to be friends first. Um, don't get me wrong. Have we picked up a single guy at a at a bar? Yes. Do we have a single we have single guys that um we play with? They come into town once every six months. They're hey, we're in town, hey, would you like to get together? Yeah, we've done that, but the majority of the time we set up, we talk with them for months before we can meet because everybody's schedule has to mesh up. But we figure ourselves more as mentors because we had mentors ourselves when we first started. We had a couple that helped us out that I was comfortable with having him with another woman and watching him with another woman. And we sat down, we were at their house for about three hours, and we played with them that night, and they were our mentors, and I think that's what we are. We like to be mentors for new couples coming in, so they don't feel like they're alone that they don't have oh my gosh, I'm the only one that felt this. No, trust me, everybody feels it.

Nosy Neighbor: 19:47

What is the biggest hurdle that you have seen that people need to either prepare themselves or get in that mindset that if they do it, they're gonna have a much better time?

Renee: 19:59

Okay, so they need to realize that we are not Barbie doll and can. It does not, you have to be comfortable with your body. You know, Chris and I are are are good because we're nudists at heart because and so we don't care, you know. We're very comfortable in our body. We're you know, I like to show on. Uh so but people need to understand that there's it's not like the porn. Swingers are not like the porn. It's everybody ha are different sides. Um they look different, they're different ages. They're not all 20-year-olds. And that it's okay. They're not they're not gonna get stared at, they're not gonna get joked about. You know, the lifestyle is the most non-judgmental accepting group of people I've ever belonged to. So but people get hung up on oh my gosh, nobody's gonna want to play with me because of what I look like, or um do I have to play with whoever we talk to? No, no, you have that right to say no, you have the right to say, um, sorry, you're just not our cup of tea. You know, we've had that. We've had couples that were they're just not our cup of tea. And we've that that is the conversation that's the hardest of saying, I'm sorry, we're you know, we're not into into you guys. But people had get hung up on being afraid, being rejected, because you're gonna do people are gonna tell you no, you're gonna you have to get used to that, and it's okay. I'm not uh and I can I'll I'll tell Chris all the time I'm not everybody's cup of tea, and I'm okay with that. But you have to to get over the hang-up. I have a mom bod, nobody's gonna like me. It's beautiful, it don't matter. I have a guy bod, I have a dad bod. It doesn't matter, it's beautiful.

Nosy Neighbor: 22:06

And I think communication is the big thing. I think communication, you learn how people talk, you learn because I've also found that in some ways, in many ways, porn has had a great influence in the culture of how we talk to people. How important is it when talking to you is how you're treated, how you're do you like to be talked to dirty when the a couple is just approaching you? Are you looking for someone more respectful? I think language, especially from from porn, has become so common that to refer to someone as, you know, hey, I would love to talk to your cum sl loving wife, you know, those kind of things. How do you react to those things and how much of an influence do you think porn has had in how people treat others and what kind of what kind of way do you demand to be treated? And is that part of your process of how they talk to you?

Renee: 23:04

Oh yes. Number one, because when they reach out to us on uh messenger or Reddit or whatever platform that we're talking with them, because we are on our platform, it is utmost respect. Chris is okay, so Chris is the one that bets everybody. I will not get on there and talk until he talks to them and he fills them out, and then I come in. It is I'm submissive, you know. Right, I'm uh I'm in management, I'm in charge all the time. I've had five kids, I'm always in charge. So when it comes to the sexual part of my my life, I'm submissive. He takes care of everything, and I kind of just I just kind of follow along. But no, I demand respect, and some women don't. It is everybody's preference, but I'm sorry, I'm not gonna be called pumps. Um and even during tech, so we we we get them all the time. Oh, I can come all over those hoops, sure, and we get those, and I my husband puts them in their place, you know, he's the one, hey, she is a lady through and through, she wants to be treated as a lady, and they usually either ghost us or they apologize. So, but I demand respect, I don't want anybody calling me, you know, slut or or a whore or hey, come here, let me smack your pussy or anything like that. I don't like any of that. It's always respectful. Even when we we've been talking for I mean we could be talking for months because sometimes, as you said, it's actually meeting somebody is really hard because getting together because we'll make plans and they cancel, they make plans and they cancel, it happens all the time. But when even when we do, it's always respectful. And we re and my husband respects females. So we've had unicorns, we've had a few unicorns, you know, we've had unicorns utmost respect. My husband does not call them anything other than ladies, young ladies is what he calls them. It's we're always about we don't want them to feel like degraded. We want them to feel special. And my husband wants to make sure I feel special because it's always it is about being special. It's it is about the woman.

Nosy Neighbor: 25:49

I fully agree with that. I think I think a lot of couples do it because the the marriage is great, the woman loves her husband, they've been married five, ten years, but she misses there's that wanting feeling that misses feeling wanted. Feels like it's not that her husband doesn't give it to her, it's just that you get stuck in your routine, he absolutely loves her, she absolutely loves him, but there's that desire, that kind of burning flame of wanting that woman and feeling like you're wanted, uh, feeling like you're sexy.

Renee: 26:25

Well, you know, and you feel like, oh my gosh, somebody else likes me. That means because it's women always say, Well, the husband has to because he married you or whatever. And it feels so good when you get compliments from another man or another woman. So, but yeah, it does. It feels you feel sexy, you feel alive, and some women do. I mean, don't get me wrong, some women like to be called dirty names, they like to do dirty, you know, dirty talk, and that's for them. It turns them on. I think that's great. It's it's just everybody's preference. But my husband sets everybody straight from the beginning. This is how you're gonna talk to her, this is how it's going to be. So he's really good about that.

Nosy Neighbor: 27:14

And I think that's that's one of the benefits to the lifestyle, but it's also one of the not negatives, but it's the lifestyle is so wide open that you have people looking just for romance, people are looking to explore, but also people that you know see porn and they want to kind of recreate that kind of mindset and are much more aggressive or whatnot. There's different things for everyone there, and I think the big thing, and you mentioned it from the beginning, was communication, establishing what your boundaries are. And boundaries can always shift and change, but it changes all the time. But it's it's like your house. Your house is a foundation, but you can make changes to each room, you can do little changes, but that foundation is always there. And as long as you build that and have that communication, I think it opens up for success. But also, like you said, you don't have to be with everyone.

Renee: 28:12

Nope, you don't. It shifts all the time. It just depending on what situations you're in. Like we've been on lifestyle cruises, we've been on a cruise, but we go through to campgrounds. Uh actually this weekend we'll be at a campground for Halloween. We're going to one of the live the their clothing is optional, but they tend to cater to the lifestyle.

Nosy Neighbor: 28:35

Now you've been doing this for a couple years. Is there any fun things that you like to look for? Like do like a 20-year-old. Is that something that's fun for you? No. Or is it more the mindset talking to someone, getting to know them, and that that mental connection you find more appealing?

Renee: 28:52

So I'm not into younger guys. I've never been into younger guys.

Nosy Neighbor: 28:58

But sorry, younger guys.

Renee: 29:00

But I enjoy Chris has gotten me down to like 34. 34 is my my youngest. I'll go down to. Trust me, I've been contacted by 20 year olds, 18-year-olds, 20, you know, 24-year-olds, 26-year-olds.

Nosy Neighbor: 29:14

Oh, I see the fantasy there. I can see that.

Renee: 29:17

And but it gets too close to my k my own children's age. I'm like, no. And so I'm like, no. It gets you a little freaky. And it all depends. It all depends on men or women. Men, I don't like going, you know, way young. Women, I don't care. So that kind of plays it weird, but but I look forward to the conversation. So everybody's different. Some women, they like the size. Some women like what the guy looks like. Me, I'm all about personality. If we can have an intelligent conversation, you can make me laugh. I'm instantly, okay. I like this person. Let's play with this person. Couples, the same way. If they have a great personality and we have a great time together, we pretty much end up playing. That's what I get. I get out of it, the great conversations. Don't get me wrong, the sex is always really good too. It's not very often that we find uh, you know, a single or a couple that it's bad. But the conversation, making friends, that is like the best part.

Nosy Neighbor: 30:30

And when someone reaches out to you, is your mindset that you're looking for something? Are you looking for long-term connections? Can a guy say you fit a fantasy? I would love just to talk to you for a little bit and then have a one-time meetup. Is that are you looking more for because in relationships we're always looking for where's the long-term potential? In something like this, are one and done something that are fun for you, or are you looking for something that that you can go back to and and build something on? Is that kind of a relationship thing that you see, or is it just what happens, happens?

Renee: 31:09

So we we like to build what we call friendships for a long period of time. Um we have a gentleman that we play with, he comes in every six months or so, and we've been playing with him for a year, year and a half. So he's a long-term have we picked up guys and just said, hey, you know, let's just do it this once, yes. But we're looking for not long-term, but friendships that we love doing things outside of the lifestyle, but we could also play. You know, we want the friendship, we want because believe it or not, it's very hard to find for people who are intertwined that we all mesh really well. So with couples, we tend to try to make friends and want more long-term singles. They could be a one-off. Sometimes we do like that wham bam, thank you, ma'am. Hey, you know, and and then sometimes we like that long term.

Nosy Neighbor: 32:13

You just had a really great point that I wanted to to stress because I don't think a lot of people pick up on it. Uh, and again, you're a lot more currently experienced than I am, but you you said that it's hard to find two couples that are are that pair up well, and I think that's one of the big misconceptions, is we we tend to think of couples being A and B, and then the other couple being A and B, and their A swaps with the other A and the B. And it's not always like that. We we tend to think that okay, if I go down on her, she he's gonna go down on the um, and it's not always kind of that tit for tat thing. It's you have to realize as a couple, what are your motivations? And you kind of said it earlier, your husband kind of likes showing you off. Your husband likes showing, you know, watching you perform with other men. So to him, it's not just because she's fucking, he has to fuck. And I think a lot of couples kind of have that it has to be even, it has to be equal, it has to be fair of what we're doing. And I think a lot of that is communicating what your needs are in looking for this, and maybe he's not looking to fuck, but he wants to watch his wife, and so finding that it's not A and B that match perfectly, it's finding what each of your needs are and finding that couple that fits that, that it's not this kind of perfect match that you just kind of wife swap, it's finding what each person needs in the other couple that may be completely different than what the wife or the husband needs.

Renee: 33:56

Oh, yeah, we we've had a few couples that you know we meet and we're great friends, we will never play with them, and that's okay, we're still friends. Because their dynamic is different than ours, but we respect that dynamic. You know, um another thing, being in the lifestyle, you need to be open with your dynamic. What is your dynamic? What is what is what do you guys do? Because if you go, we've had some incidents and we don't even know, we will be sitting there for three or four hours wondering, okay, what's their dynamic? What are they doing? Because they won't talk about it. You need to tell whoever you're meeting up with. If you're doing a meet and greet, it's not a meet and greet to go out and have something to eat, and that's it. It is a meet and greet for a potential play. Well, you need to talk about okay, what are you into? What do you like? Okay, how what is your guys' dynamic? And if it meshes with your dynamic, or you're able to work with their dynamics. Like Chris and I will work with other couples' dynamics to and it will still be pleasurable because guess what? I still have him. You know, I still have him, he still has me, we still have a good time with each other, we can still fuck and have a great time, and it's great. But yeah, you have to figure out and communicate. Communication is is the biggest thing to you you need. You not only need communication with your spouse or your partner, you also need communication with whomever you you decide you want to play with. Because they didn't they didn't need to know what your boundaries are, what your no-nos are, what you prefer, what you like. And you learn over the course of your lifestyle adventure, we like to call it the lifestyle adventure, what you like because things change. Like I was not into women before coming into the lifestyle, but coming into the lifestyle, I realized I kind of like women. I I will play with women, I won't go down on a woman, but I will play with women, and I like that. But coming into I did not know that before coming into the lifestyle.

Nosy Neighbor: 36:30

Interesting. Yeah. How much how much because I think part of the problem online is there's a lot of hunting for photos, or you know, wanting to get pics and stuff. You said that you occasionally will pick up a guy at a bar that's kind of like uh an impulsive thing, but how much or we'll say, hey, we're coming to you know this city and we're gonna be there.

Renee: 36:58

It's called a hot date. We'll do a hot date, and people will reach out to us, and we'll be like, okay, we'll see you there at six o'clock. And we go to the bar, we say hi, and if it's if it looks good, we're like, okay, hey, do you want to come back to our hotel? And then we have some fun.

Nosy Neighbor: 37:19

And and those are great too, but you also talk about the need to communicate how much time or what is your preferred preference of how much time do you invest in talking to people, getting to know them online, getting talking about you know what you're into and whatnot before either setting up a date or cutting them free. Is there kind of like a timeline like it takes a week to talk to them so many messages, or is it just kind of based on feel?

Renee: 37:49

So we like we have been talking, how long have we been talking? We've been talking to three single men. And we've been talking with them for possibly like two or three months now. Have not met them, but we continue to talk with them. We're like, because we don't mind talking with them, but have we put them kind of on the back burner? Sometimes um, but then we have you know, but then we still talk with them, we still invite them. Hey, we have this such and such day off. Would you like to get together? If they turn us down, all right, you know, we go to the next one, we go to the next one until somebody says, Yeah, sure. And we keep we keep them, we keep them here, we talk with them, uh, and we'll talk with them every other day, and we talk about normal stuff and then Chris will shoot them a picture of me. Usually he says like happy Monday, and then a picture of my boobs. So like it's happy Monday or a hump day, picture of my ass, things like that. But we still stay in contact with them. We don't the only time that we set them free is if they decide to set us free. But everybody else is different. There's everybody's different because you'll have some couples say, We don't want to be talking for months, we want to just talk for maybe a day or two, then we need to meet and we need to play. Everybody has their own preference, but I've we've we've had some couples say, Well, we're not into the long talks, we're not looking for long term, we can talk for a few days and let's get together and have fun, and that's okay, that's what they're into. That's just not exactly what we're into because we have a very hectic schedule, just like everybody else.

Nosy Neighbor: 39:51

If you were to be declared queen of the lifestyle for a week, what changes in attitude, in how things are done, in people's mindset? What what kind of change? I know everyone's a little bit different and all their tastes are different, but like if you could clean up something as far as what people's rationales or thinking is, what would you like to see changed?

Renee: 40:18

Oh I would uh I would like to change the ghosting. We have been ghosted a lot of times. I I think if you're not gonna be if if you're not gonna be fully invested into this, if you're if you're only on there just because you want to look at naked women or naked men or whatever, then and but you're not going to follow through. You're not you're not you're not there to to actually, you know, meet somebody and to enjoy what the lifestyle can give you. Because it it is very enjoyable. I would say you're out, you know what I mean? It's because there's so many of them. I mean, there's so many of them and so many. I would say you you know what you're out. It's been, you know, we're watching you, it's been like eight months, you keep talking to everybody, you want their pictures, and and there's if there's a way to see that you snatch this picture and that's picture and this picture, and that's all you're there for, is to gather pictures. But you're and you're wanting saying that you want to meet somebody, you want to meet somebody, you want to meet somebody, then all of a sudden you ghost everybody. That's you know, it's just like dating. Uh that would be something I'd love to change. That you don't have to ghost. If you're not into it, you're not into it. Then you shouldn't be on these sites, you know what I mean?

Nosy Neighbor: 41:52

Being devil's advocate, how many of that do you think is kind of picture hunting and and whatnot, versus I mean, you even said that you were nervous going to the bar the first time. If your husband wasn't with you and let's say you were going alone, would you have necessarily gone through with being the guy at the bar, or would you have been spooked up? I've always when talking to couples, I always try to tell the husband, you know, I encourage pictures because I think it's important for them to hear and even the wife to hear other people commenting about their their husband and wife, because I think it's such a shock to want to do something and you know think that that idea sounds sexy, but then when another person starts talking about you know bucking your wife, uh it becomes very real, and I think that is a large part of the ghosting, but I also think it's also just people wanting pictures of naked women. How much of each do you think there is? Is it that a lot of it's just picture culture, or is a lot of it is just I mean, you've been married for 15 years, let's say, and now you're thinking of having another man fuck your wife? That that changed, I mean that's a big hurdle to overcome. And as sex may sound, it's easy to get spooked and scared. So, how much of it do you think is picture collection versus people that are seriously thinking about it, but just get overwhelmed with that that next step of we're going to a place where we're gonna meet someone that might fuck my wife, and oh my god, that's now suddenly real to me.

Renee: 43:39

I think it's 6040, 60 people, 60 percent. Are we talking about fake ones too?

Nosy Neighbor: 43:47

As in fake history, oh yeah, there's a lot of that too.

Renee: 43:50

Yeah, there's a lot of that. Uh being afraid, we've we've heard a lot, trust me. Uh, we are very open with whomever we talk to. Hey, if you are afraid, it's okay, or if this makes you nervous, it's okay. We totally understand. Trying to convince people we're real is is kind of hard too. Uh, but I think the picture taken because we we'll get it. If if we're having a dialogue and within three sentences you're asking for video, we know already know. Yeah, we get we get one of those at least every other day. Every other day. Even with like 400 photos on your profile, they still want to request they want video or they want to see our our privates. There's a lot of private our private I have a lot of pictures and it it shows.

Nosy Neighbor: 44:48

There's something for everyone on there. So I have my favorites.

Renee: 44:53

Okay. I do too. But no, we will. I mean, it's within conversation and all of a sudden or they'll start sending us video. Hey, we're gonna send you video, so send us video. Uh that's not how it works. You just started talking to me five minutes ago.

Nosy Neighbor: 45:14

No, you you do the swinging thing, you love photographs. Have you thought about doing something like OnlyFans? Have you thought about exploring other avenues of this? Oh you enjoy it clearly.

Renee: 45:34

I do, I do enjoy it. Um this is so this is so funny. My husband, he's like, okay, the only thing I want you to ask him, I just want you to ask him one thing. I'm like, all right, all right, fine. And he's like, ask him if you should do an OnlyFans. And I was like, I am not. I'm like, oh, I just roll my eyes because he would love for me to do an OnlyFans. He said, he's like, you should do. He's been pressuring me, not pressuring me, but asking me for probably about a year now. I'd say about a year. I do enjoy it. I do. I love I love the taking the pictures. I like photography. So but I love finding new things to wear, plus I get new clothes, that's always awesome. But I like finding new new lingerie or a new way to pose, or I love being outside naked. So if I can go to a private area and do that, I love doing that. I mean, I don't have a lot of outdoor ones because trying to find a place. But I do love it. I love showing him pictures. I love when he does show pictures to everybody else. I love getting dressed up, I love doing my hair, I love doing the makeup, I love it, makes me feel beautiful, it makes me feel like a woman, it makes me feel young. It makes me feel wanted.

Nosy Neighbor: 46:59

As we talked about earlier. I I I think there's it's I've helped five different people set up their OnlyFans. It is not as successful as it was during COVID. Yeah, COVID was very I mean, it I've helped five different people, all five had to stop because it got so overwhelming. It's died down since then. I think there's a right way to do it, and I think there's a wrong way to do it, depending on the person, but it it can be empowering. Uh, it it can be fun, and I think uh it's not for everyone, yeah, but uh yeah, it's I think I like the idea of being able to create your own content and to have your own personality and not kind of follow, you know, what porn says or does or whatnot, and create your own personality. And I think for me, from what I have dealt with and helped and established, um, it's less about the body and more about the personality.

Renee: 48:10

Oh, yeah. Um you could tell how confident a person is, or by just looking at a picture, you know, they may not look perfect, but you look at it and you're like, wow, that person's awesome. That person's gorgeous, because you could see it in the eyes, in the facial expressions, you know, that they are confident and they're they love their body and they're comfortable with their body.

Nosy Neighbor: 48:37

It's it's not even that, although I agree with you that to some extent, but a lot of the people that I have found, the the amateurs at least, the porn stars, yeah, they post professional pictures on their OnlyFans, they post, you know, model type. But the way that the the everyday average woman is successful is there's a playfulness to it. It's not like a still pose of here she is standing naked with her breasts. The the fun ones are the ones that create like a three-second video of them in a towel and then doing a flash and then shutting the towel, and that's like a three-second thing that they post. You know, like happy Monday, flash, boom, done. And it's that playfulness of yeah, she was naked, but that kind of playing for for the fans was something that they liked. There's the whole financial aspect of it. I don't think women should necessarily be doing it for financial gains, especially after COVID, uh, because the money just isn't.

Renee: 49:42

Well, yeah, I get it. I mean, it should be for fun, it should be uh say almost like a hobby. Um really is. It should be a hobby. And because it once you start putting thinking about the money, you start losing the fun aspect.

Nosy Neighbor: 50:01

Well, and some of it too is it the women that I think aren't as successful is they're like, well, I'm gonna post naked, and to me that has a value to it. And so if you want to see me topless, it's 20 bucks. And so they might post two pictures or blurred pictures of them, and then to say it to see uncensored, it's $20. And then here's another one. If you want to see it uncensored, $20. And their membership is five dollars, and so it's like, well, I could go out and buy a magazine for five dollars and see you tons of naked women, and so just because your value and you might put your own value is in order to see this, it's actually about a dollars. I think the women that find it more successful are the ones that are willing to show a little bit more and kind of build that fan base, and um, I don't know, I have all kinds of thoughts on that, but uh wrapping things up, what looking back you've been doing this now for four years, I think you said.

Renee: 51:03

Yep, four years.

Nosy Neighbor: 51:05

If you could travel back in time and go back to that bar where you're gonna meet the guy for the first time, and you were all nervous and everything, and it was right before you learned that the guy wasn't gonna show up, you weren't going to the other bar to for the takeover or whatnot. What advice would you give yourself about the future?

Renee: 51:26

Communicate, relax. You know, it's it's okay. You know, if they don't like you, then they don't like you. That's okay. Because there's somebody out there for everybody, you know what I mean? There's it is it is no big deal. Go in there and enjoy yourself. Enjoy it. You know, uh embrace it because it is very enjoyable. It's and I think my first few times you get nervous and you're like, Oh my gosh, they're not gonna like you. So you start doing the sucking in and all that. You don't have to. You don't have to. Just go in there and enjoy, relax and enjoy.

Nosy Neighbor: 52:15

Well, I have taken up enough of your time. Appreciate you coming on. I appreciate your husband uh giving us the opportunity, um, because I don't mean to leave him out of anything, but he's an equal part in all this, so I appreciate him coming on. And I thank you for coming on and kind of dispelling some of the concerns that other people might have. And I hope you're doing this that we get people to to get more curious about this. I think that's the whole thing of the podcast is to kind of take a look at these women and realize that they are real women, just because they're brothel workers or porn stars, that a lot of them do demand that they're treated respectfully and and uh kind of painting up the different picture of you know, you're not depressed in your marriage, you're not in a bad marriage, you're not doing this because your husband can't get it up. It's you're doing this because it enhances the marriage. And I think for other couples to hear that, I think that's important. So thank you so much for your time, and I look forward to talking to you hopefully again.

Renee: 53:16

I hope so. Thank you.